but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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