Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
