this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize