hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
