THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
