if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
