who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
