woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
