I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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