I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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