She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
