I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
