i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
