Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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