Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
