So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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