We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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