this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
