If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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