i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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