somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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