Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize