Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
