i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
