its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
