If that was your dad, he is hot
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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