Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
