Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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