it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
