Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
