i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
