We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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