Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
