i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
