fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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