I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
