I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
