WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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