Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
