I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
