im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize