the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
