My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
