A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
