I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
