I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
