Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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