his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
