try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
