So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
