aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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