I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
