Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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