she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
