I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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