I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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