he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
