Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
